Dear Loved Ones,
I hope this letter finds both of you healthy or happy. You know you can’t have it all. I’ll be sending out one less letter this year. As you may recall, Grandma got run over by a reindeer. I don’t know why I ever sent her a letter anyway. She refused to wear her glasses. Said they made her look old. I had to read the letter to her every year. Well, that’s one less stamp I’ll have to buy.
This year has really flown by. I can’t believe it’s been 365 days already. Seems like only 349. I guess that could be due to all those afternoon naps. Sometimes it takes a long time to wake up from those. A fellow could lose a few days that way.
I got a letter from cousin Arliss last week. It didn’t make a lick of sense, until I noticed it was written in 2009. He always was a little slow. Never was my favorite cousin. I think I’ll wait five years and send him this letter. That’ll learn him.
The little girl down the block got a Hippopotamus for Christmas. The neighbors are furious. Damn thing has eaten every green thing from here to the highway and destroyed everybody’s lawns. Not to mention what it’s left behind in their swimming pools. I think there’s a petition going around to have that family removed from town. I don’t believe they thought this situation through very carefully.
I’m thinking about screening in the back porch for use during the summer when mosquitoes are so bad. Guess I better build a back porch first. Just a thought.
Aunt Addy called and said she got her two front teeth for Christmas. More like she found them after the cat knocked them off the bathroom sink and they ended up under her dresser. Said she was glad to have them back in time for Christmas dinner. Not that Aunt Addy ever missed many meals.
Regina says howdy. I don’t ever send her one of these letters, since she already knows all this stuff. I wish this letter had more information about the whole year, but at my age, sometimes I don’t remember yesterday , let alone twelve months ago. My New Year’s resolution is to write stuff down all year long, so I can include it in next year’s letter. So, stay tuned ’cause next year’s letter could be a real doozy.
Your favorite (fill in the blank),