Who Are You, Really?

This is an excerpt from my book “The Wisdom of Childhood” available on Amazon Kindle.

Imagine for a moment that we are observing a room full of children. Imagine that there are many toys and activity centers, just as you would see in a well equipped day care center. Now imagine that the boys and girls in this room represent a wide variety of ethnic and religious backgrounds. There are children of different colored skin. Some of the children speak English, some speak Spanish, some speak Chinese, and some speak Arabic.

children 2                               children 3

What are your expectations of how these children will relate to each other? Will they group themselves according to skin color, gender, language? I don’t think so. Children understand there are more important things to consider.

We may not hear the children asking questions of one another, but in their minds they are exploring very important information about the other children. In their minds they are asking, “Are you kind? Do you want to play the games I like? Will you show me how to play your game? Can we share toys? Can we be friends?” In essence, they are asking, “Who are you, really?”

children 1

We would not hear any questions regarding skin color, religion, gender, or any other characteristic that is different. Acceptance or rejection is based solely on compatibility with the inner person, not what is apparent on the outside. You see, these children have not yet been taught prejudice and bigotry.

Prejudice is defined as “an opinion made without adequate basis.” A bigot is “one intolerably devoted to his or her own prejudices or opinions.” I believe one word has been omitted from these definitions. That word is fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear of something we do not understand. Fear of anything different. This fear leads to hatred.

Unfortunately, these children in our imaginary room will soon be taught prejudice and bigotry. As they grow up, they will observe prejudice and bigotry being practiced by the adults who are their teachers. School teachers, parents, religious leaders, television and movie characters, and elected governmental leaders are all teachers.

Where has all this prejudice come from? I believe it comes from our obsession with the differences. If your skin color is different, if your religious beliefs are different, if your sexual preference is different, then we are different. And if we are different, then, as a matter of self preservation, I must consider that I am right and you are wrong. If you are wrong, then it follows that I should not like you or trust you. Do you begin to see how our prejudices grow? Do you begin to understand how distrust and hatred are fueled by a perceived difference?

There is an exhibit at Disney World called “It’s a Small World.” As you ride through this exhibit, you will hear a familiar song being sung in a variety of languages. It was written for this exhibit by Richard and Robert Sherman. We all know the chorus, but the words of the verses seem to be appropriate to this post.

It’s a world of laughter, a world of tears;
It’s a world of hopes and a world of fears.
There’s so much that we share that it’s time that we’re aware,
It’s a small world after all.
There is just one moon and one golden sun
And a smile means friendship to everyone,
Though the mountains divide and the oceans are wide,
It’s a small world after all.

small world

So, put yourself in that imaginary room full of children with many differences. Become a child again and ask the right question. Do not ask “Why are you different from me?” Realizing that the other children are basically the same as you, ask, “Who are you, really?” Pay close attention to the answer.





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6 Responses to Who Are You, Really?

  1. Wayne Barton says:

    I think this is the most beautiful message of your blog so far. This message should be presented from every pulpit, every Sunday, and every day, and from the parent pulpit every day. No other message needs to be told. It is the message of love. Its simplicity is amazing.

    • Thank you for this wonderful affirmation. As stated, this is an excerpt from a little book I wrote several years ago. Sometimes, when I am at a loss for a title, I delve into the chapters of that book and rework one for the post.

  2. shutterpug says:

    I too have verbalized these sentiments but not so eloquently as you have here. We come into this world as innocent babies and then somewhere along the way we become prejudiced and hateful towards others who may be different than ourselves in some way. My personal view of life is so simplistic… we are each here for such a short length of time and I cannot understand why we cannot care for our fellow man and be tolerant of differences. It is all about compassion and empathy. It must start with the children and how can that happen when they are taught by those with so much prejudice and hatred in their hearts? What is the answer?

  3. As I repeatedly state in my book “The Wisdom of Childhood,” there is much to be learned from children. Thanks for your comment.

  4. Aunt Beulah says:

    Marvelous post. I agree wholeheartedly with Wayne Barton’s response, and would only add that your post should be read aloud in staff meetings across the land when school reconvenes in the fall, this year and every year. We can never hear your message too much.

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