My wife and I watch TV. There, I said it. I don’t think we watch too much, but I know some people would say that more than one or two hours a day is more than enough. We hardly ever watch the news, because the sensationalism is just too much to stomach. We do, however have our favorite shows. Many times these shows are recorded, or have been purchased on our Apple-TV account. In these cases we are able to avoid watching any commercials, and simply enjoy a continuous flow of entertainment.

However, sometimes we watch shows as they are being broadcast live. This means that we must endure the commercials. Some commercials are tolerable, and may be even entertaining. For the most part however, they are selling “stuff” that we have no intention of buying. Some other commercials are down right insulting. I want to ask (and, in fact I do ask the TV) , “Really? Do I look that stupid?”

I will admit that some commercials have a refreshing message, and are enjoyable to watch, even though they are taking time away from the show we are watching. Unfortunately, these commercials are few and far between. There are commercials that are so full of irritating technology and loud music that when they are over, I can’t even tell you what they were advertising. I’m sure that’s not what the ad agency had in mind.

And then there are those commercials that just make me scream, “ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!”

Take for instance the commercials for tampons and maxi pads. Really!? We all know that these are necessary items for females between the ages of puberty and menopause, but I, for one, don’t need to spend 30 seconds seeing this information plastered on my TV screen. Some things just need to be kept private.

I long for the days of Mr. Whipple, and his secretive squeeze of Charmin toilet paper. What is it with wild bears “doing their business” in the woods? We all know they do, but do we have to see them using toilet paper, and being reprimanded for using too much or leaving bits of paper on their behinds? I really don’t think bears use toilet paper anyway. And then we have to be told, “We all go, so enjoy the go,” or “No job is finished until the paper work is done.”

Armpits! We all have them, and we try our best to keep them smelling fresh, but I don’t want to be shown someone else’s armpit or the sweat stained shirt or blouse they are wearing. There is a commercial that is not even about deodorant, that shows a girl riding down the street with her boyfriend on a tandem bicycle. Her armpit hair is so long, it is slapping him in the face. That is just gross!

And then, there are the male enhancement drug commercials. The men who are featured in those commercials are 45 years old at the most. Give me a break! They do not have erectile disfunction. And here is another topic that needs to be kept private, especially if you have developed problems at that age.

Speaking of age, have you noticed the women featured in wrinkle cream commercials? They aren’t even old enough to have any wrinkles in the first place, and we know how these images can be enhanced with modern technology. Show me some seventy year old woman with lots of facial character, and let’s see what your cream can do for her.

I realize that commercials on TV are not going away. I also know that companies are competing for our hard earned dollars. It is amazing how much money is spent on making the commercials, and how much is spent on buying the time on TV to show them to us. But please give me a break from those ads that make me scream, “ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!”

We’ll be right back after these important messages. Really?!